


The King's Muse

by MoominMama



Category: Hades (Video Game 2018)
Genre: Comedy, Fluff, Love Confessions, M/M, Silly Hours With Theseus, Theseus loves Asterius in a way that is so sweet and so so stupit
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-01-12
Updated: 2021-03-02
Packaged: 2021-03-17 01:13:47
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 9,462
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28716321
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MoominMama/pseuds/MoominMama
Summary: Theseus badly(!) wants to confess to Asterius. But he isn't quite sure how to go about it!
Relationships: Achilles & Theseus (Hades Video Game), Asterius | The Minotaur/Theseus (Hades Video Game), Patroclus & Theseus (Hades Video Game), Theseus & Zagreus (Hades Video Game)
Comments: 32
Kudos: 115





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> I've been wanting to write something with Theseus and Asterius for so long they genuinely got me out of a huge creative slump I was in!! This is the first thing I managed to finish with them... it's silly but I hope you enjoy it.

“Hoh, hellspawn! I, the Greatest King of Athens, am ashamed to say that I greatly require your assistance at this present moment!”, King Theseus bellowed, having tracked the Daemon-Prince Zagreus down to the glade of Patroclus where he stood alongside the warrior Achilles. He knew the area well enough; it was fairly remote, but the Fates had guided him to it several times already. It was certainly because they wanted him to befriend a noble figure such as Achilles! Patroclus himself, on the other hand, he could take or leave. Still- he (usually) knew better than to pick a fight when it wasn’t warranted. He’d act civil this time. “My fellow warriors, you are free to pitch in as well!”  
  
The trio was sipping nectar when the King arrived, but now all had paused to look at him quite judgmentally. Patroclus looked particularly unamused by the sudden appearance of King Theseus, but he didn’t do much more than roll his eyes. Achilles on the other hand had a tense smile, and the fiend looked, well… he looked as fiendish as ever, really. Unremarkably fiendish!   
  
“Is that your way of saying that you need help with something?” asked the daemon with a clearly exhausted tone. The nerve of him, speaking in such a way to a _king!_ _  
_   
Regardless of the fact that all three men were clearly annoyed by his presence alone (inconceivable! A face such as his should be beloved by all of Elysium!), Theseus continued: “Yes, exactly that! I seek your assistance on a matter of the utmost importance to _me!_ ”   
  
The hellspawn should feel honoured that a kingly figure such as himself was coming to _him,_ an insignificant minor god(!) for help! He should fall to his knees and plead for his divine forgiveness, promising to do everything in his power to aid the king! It had absolutely nothing to do with the fact that there were few others within the realm who could tolerate having a conversation with him, whatsoever!   
  
Zagreus, fiend that he is, simply asks “Can’t you go to Asterius about this? He seems like he’d help you out with just about anything!” He says it in the exact same tone of voice he takes with the king before their battles in the arena: in any other situation Theseus would take it as a rise to challenge! But this was not the arena, and they were not about to enter a battle to the death. Theseus didn’t even bring his spear with him as he normally would! He realized rather quickly the sight of it alone may lead this conversation down a different route, or convince the daemon he had intentions _other_ than asking a simple question.   
  
(Patroclus and Achilles both murmured in agreement with the daemon: Patroclus huffed something under his breath about how “the minotaur is the only person in this or any other world patient enough to deal with you.” Hearing such a thing made the King scoff in pure disbelief, but he otherwise remained silent.)   
  
Theseus only persisted, however. “I cannot go to Asterius with this- for it is Asterius who is the concern of mine. He is what I need help with, presently! For I have a question in regards to him, or more specifically the relationship between I and he!”

At that, the glade was silent. It made Theseus groan- he hated explaining himself to those who were undeserving of his presence! If it were Achilles alone he would gladly elaborate, but Patroclus and himself had never gotten along ( _You are a king, and the favored of Poseidon. And yet, you are very short. How sad for you_ , Patroclus had said once. The fallen warrior was, decidedly, the worst person he’s met in Elysium.)   
And the daemon was, well… a daemon. A vile, fiendish daemon! A daemon, who would sever the fraternal bonds he shares with Asterius the moment either of them dropped their guards! Which is one of _many_ reasons why he has to do this- so that the hellspawn may see just how deep his devotion to the Bull is!   
  
“This may come as a surprise to you... ” Theseus began, already feeling his face burning up. He would not falter, though. His brilliant smile continued to shine through, and he even posed proudly as he spoke, hands on his hips. “But you see- I have been in _love_ with my dear friend for quite some time now!”   
  
Again, silence. Patroclus takes a big swig from his glass of Nectar. The daemon keeps opening his mouth to say something, then quickly closing it. Even Achilles just looks… stunned. Complete and total shock and confusion.   
  
Noble Achilles eventually coughs: “We… know. Everyone knows, King Theseus. You’ve never been good at hiding it.”   
  
“You all already know?!” He couldn’t contain the surprise in his voice. He never made any real effort to hide his feelings, but he didn’t think he was _that_ obvious, either.   
  
“Well, yeah!” shrugged the daemon, “you’re always going on about your fraternal bond and eternal devotion to one another. To tell you the truth, I thought you were already dating!”   
  
“As did I.” adds Patroclus, who had already popped open a second bottle of Nectar from the fiend’s stash. 

Ah. This was _humiliating!_ To be so rudely told that his feelings were so obvious! As if it wasn’t a big deal! This was, truly, a devastating blow. But he could not let it get to him; he'll gladly put up with any embarrassment for the sake of his beloved brother-in-arms. Even if his cheeks were burning fiercely, he continued: _  
_ _  
_ _“_ We are _not_ dating! At least, not yet. But I would like for us to be together in that way. For you see, I wish to confess to Asterius. To tell him that I have feelings for him! A love that burns with the passionate heat of a sweltering sun! A devotion that is unfathomable! A partnership that is unbreakable! A bond that is unSHAKEable- “   
  
“Didn’t you marry in the past? _Multiple_ times, to multiple different women? Shouldn’t you be able to do this on your own?”, Patroclus cut in, interrupting his speech. Of course he wouldn’t understand! What does he know of true devotion?   
  
(Speaking of devotion, why is it that he and Achilles wear matching outfits anyways? He'll have to ask sometime.)

“This is _entirely_ different, Patroclus! The love I hold for Asterius is strong enough to have been forged by Hephaestus himself! The affection I held for any of my wives cannot even _begin_ to compare to what I feel for Asterius.” It was the genuine truth. None of his marriages were… particularly good. Some circumstances were out of his control, other times, he acted rashly. But Asterius knew how to deal with Theseus' impulsive nature. It was one of many, many things the king appreciated about his bovine companion.   
  
“Why don’t you just tell him the stuff you were just telling us, then? You know, about Hephaestus or whatever.” The daemon suggested. “Sure, it’s nerve-wracking, but I’m more than certain that you of all people would be able to do it!”

“Pah! Asterius deserves far greater than words alone, fiend! I must do something that will truly and wholly show the depths of my feelings for him!” 

(That wasn’t the whole reason: while Theseus didn’t want to admit it to _Zagreus_ of all people… he truthfully wasn’t entirely sure if Asterius felt the same as he did. Yes, Asterius had promised to fight by his side by eternity! He’d promised his devotion, his strength, his everything to Theseus! But that didn’t necessarily mean he loved him _romantically_. For (as much as he was loathe to admit it), Theseus knew he could be a bit of a handful. Even Poseidon, who favored him and was a father figure to Theseus, had once described the king as a “hot-tempered braggart.”)

Asterius had been patient with him (though admittedly, there were times it felt as if such patience was more than he deserved), and had never strayed from him (even when he had dreams of that fiend Zagreus, he always reminded the king hat his place was by his side), but the insecurity still gnawed at Theseus incessantly. The idea that Asterius may one day leave him for someone more worthy… even after they reaffirmed their bond, he couldn’t help but to feel worried on the occasion, despite the fact that he no longer allowed those worries to follow him onto the battlefield.  
  
King Theseus had every intention of _wooing_ Asterius, of impressing him with just how strong, and heroic, and _valiant_ he is! He would make the Minotaur fall for him! He would show him what a wonderful partner he can be both on and off the battlefield! And then, maybe… that worry would finally fade. 

(How unfortunate he was, that such insecurities followed him even into the afterlife!)  
  
“You want to do something to impress him?” the fiend suddenly asked. Theseus must’ve been thinking out-loud again, whoops. 

“Why yes, of course! My dearest friend deserves only the best I have to offer!” the king twirled a strand of his blonde hair around his finger, trying to act casual despite the fact his face was, undeniably, redder than a tomato.   
  
“I’m not sure if that would be the way to go. I’ve seen your way of _impressing_ people, Kng Theseus.'' Achilles waves his hands upwards in a dramatic gesture, an imitation of the confetti cannons Daedaelus had custom made for the Macedion Tau-Lambda, “and I don’t think your bull friend would appreciate the commotion.”   
  
“I wasn’t thinking of doing anything like _that!”_ Theseus lied; His first idea had involved fireworks, before he remembered how much the Bull was unsettled by sudden loud noises.

By the way Achilles chuckled, he must’ve known it was a lie. The champion had never been a good liar. The embarrassment of being laughed at by one such as the Great Achilles… it was something he would have to endure, for now.   
  
“Why don’t you try making some sort of gift for him?” Patroclus asked. Theseus perked up at that: He had of course given the Minotaur gifts in the past- hand-woven wreaths of laurels and Elysian flora to crown his head with, combs made from the shells of creatures he fished from the river Lethe; the red paint Asterius adorned his horns with was created by Theseus himself by grinding ruby-coloured flowers into a fine powder. 

They were small things, yes, but Asterius had cherished them with so much love that it made Theseus’ heart swell just to think about those fond memories.   
  
“That’s not such a bad idea, Patroclus! For I, Theseus, Greatest King of Athens, am an excellent gift-giver! And an even better craftsman!”   
  
“Are you, now? What about the time with all the glitter -”   
  
“Do NOT talk to me about that!” 

Theseus absolutely refused to discuss the glitter incident, especially since Asterius only recently got the last of it out of his fur. Still, both Achilles and that fiend began to snicker, and even Patroclus smirked.   
  
“Regardless, my fellow warriors!”, Theseus quickly changed the subject before Patroclus could say anything else, “I fully intend to take your advice! I will craft my dear friend Asterius something that is so _large,_ so _exquisite,_ that even the wretched shades of Tartarus will be jealous of my workmanship! And that jealousy will only increase when they see that such a gift is only befitting of dear Asterius, for he is unmatched by any other in my heart! Just you wait!”   
  
With that, Theseus turned to exit the glade. Now, he had a plan! Well… more accurately an idea. Still! It was something, and… oh! He almost forgot.

Theseus backed up, returning to where Zagreus had resumed a conversation with the other two warriors. “I will be awaiting you at the arena later, for I know you will inevitably come to darken its halls with your vile visage!” He reached out to poke the daemon’s chest, causing him to make a noise that was quite unamused. 

“Mention nothing of this to Asterius, or else my wrath will be even more viscous than that which you are quite accustomed to!” Now that _that_ was finished, Theseus could leave for real. He sauntered out of the glade with confident steps, muttering to himself all the while.   
  


* * *

  
Zagreus and the warrior pair watch as the king leaves, all looking equally baffled. Not that this was any more confusing than the average interaction with Theseus- afterall, he was very… odd. Difficult to understand. Asterius must put up with a lot, they all concluded together at some point in the past.

“So, what do you think he’ll end up making?” Achilles asked, swirling the honey liquid of nectar in a freshly opened bottle.   
  
“Something that is far out of his skill range. He’ll go into it with his usual bravado and come out of it crying.” replied Patroclus, with a nod.

“At the very least, the Bull of Minos will like it either way.” Zagreus sighed, “I really don’t understand why he tolerates him! Aren’t there other, less obnoxious heroes he could befriend? And he never wants to hang out with me, either… “   
  
Patroclus and Achilles glanced at one another. They didn’t know how to break it to the prince that Asterius _definitely_ liked Theseus back, that flirting with him wasn’t going to get him anywhere, and he’d have an easier time taking Sisyphus’ boulder on a date than he would trying to win Asterius’ heart.   
  
Even if neither of them could really understand it (though Pat would begrudgingly admit that there were times when the two Champions reminded him of himself and Achilles, with Theseus being so emotional and Asterius being so patient), the king and the Bull of Minos were clearly bound to one another. No force could separate them… lest of all the prince’s celebrity crush. He’d get over it in time, at least. 

* * *

  
Zagreus came to the arena as expected. This time, he lost - though it was due to a stroke of bad luck on the daemon’s side rather than the duo’s actual battle prowess. Theseus dropped a bomb from his chariot that strangely enough didn’t detonate...until the prince had the misfortune of accidentally stepping on it with his flaming feet. The explosion he produced was quite spectacular! An unforgettable sight, really.

As much as Theseus would have loved to _personally_ land the killing blow, this was good enough… and a good omen, certainly! For Theseus had planned to ask Asterius what he may like as a gift after the battle that same day or night.

Typically, he would start on a gift _without_ asking so it would be a surprise… but after the glitter incident, it would be irresponsible of him not to inquire.

“Asterius, my dear friend…” Theseus latched onto the Minotaur’s arm, entangling his hand within his own. The difference in their sizes was highlighted whenever the king clung to his partner in this way; he could only wrap his hand around a few of Asterius’ fingers.   
  
When Asterius first joined the king within Elysium, he was bothered by how physical Theseus was: it was rare indeed that he wasn’t holding something, be it his spear, some small contraption gifted by Daedalus, or even Asterius himself. Now it was something they’d both grown used to, something they both enjoyed greatly. 

“If I, your beloved friend and king, was thinking of getting you a gift… what would you like from me?”   
  
Asterius looked thoughtful for a moment, his handsome face gazing away as he pondered. He was never very talkative (a lifetime of silence would do that to a person, Theseus supposed), but he always _listened,_ which Theseus appreciated immensely. 

The king loved to talk: he loved to hear the sound of his own voice, he loved to _explain_ things big and small, to analyze, to make suggestions. Words held incredible power, and he wanted to utilize that power well. But there had been multiple occasions where he… might have accidentally chased off another Elysian he was trying to impress by getting too wordy about a particular topic (he still felt bitter that noble Odysseus wasn’t interested in his thousand page essay on whether Heracles or Perseus would win in a fight. He’d worked so hard on it, calculating how they’d fare in various different competitions right down to the very last decimal! Even the heroic Jason squirreled off when Theseus told him that the witch Medea was his stepmother, when he only wanted to ask about her son, Medus, who he knew briefly in life), but Asterius _liked_ to hear him talk. He was so very, very kind. The only person Theseus ever met who completely accepted him, eccentricities and all.   
  
Theseus was smitten.

“Well,” Asterius eventually hummed, “There’s nothing I particularly _want_ at the moment. But…”   
  
“Yes, yes?”   
  
“I enjoy it when you practice on your lyre, king. Perhaps you can play a song for me.”   
  
Theseus halted at that. When he was a boy, his mother Aethra had assigned him lyre lessons in an attempt to expend his near limitless energy. He complained at first, but came to find he enjoyed the lessons quite a lot. 

When he left Troezen as a young adult he put such a hobby behind himself, finding it unbecoming of a hero… but now in the afterlife the desire to play again had taken hold of him, and he indulged himself. He was, of course very, very, VERY out of practice, but everytime he played Asterius would prick his ears to listen, to quietly support him as he tried his best to relearn it. 

“You would like me to write a song for you… ?” Theseus asked, blue eyes glittering. His dear friend wanted such a humble gift! In the past, he might've protested and attempted to offer something much more exquisite… but this was Asterius. He didn’t often ask for things, but when he did he was always certain of himself. 

“Nothing quite as grand as that, my king. I’d be happy hearing anything from you.”

Asterius gently brushed his thumb against Theseus, causing the smaller man's cheeks to darken with blush.

_Right_ . Theseus makes a mental note to himself. _Asterius absolutely wants me to write him a completely original and grand ballad, a testament to his fame! What a romantic gesture that will be!_ _  
_ _  
_ He could imagine it now: Theseus, holding a lyre made of solid gold and ruby gemstones. He would sit Asterius down for a private concert; to play a completely original piece of music, one _so_ beautiful, _so_ heart-rendingly gorgeous, that mortals upon the surface would find themselves suddenly weeping, not knowing the reason why. Rose petals float aimlessly on the breeze, but fall around his beloved friend who seems to shine golden like the sun. His singing- beautiful, god-like, majestic! Apollo himself would be driven to jealousy at his voice! And it would all be for Asterius- _only_ for Asterius, his dear, dear friend who he loved so deeply. Once he was finished, he would take a dramatic bow, and get down on one knee…   
  
_Asterius,_ he would ask, _would you do me the honour of becoming not only my partner in battle, but my partner in all aspects of afterlife… ? I wish for our bond to grow and flourish, not just as one between brothers in arms, but one between lovers!_ _  
_   
_Theseus,_ Asterius would reply, _nothing would make me happier. I am yours and yours alone._ _  
_   
And then, they would kiss! And then, they would be _together!_ It was as simple as that.   
  
“King…” Asterius suddenly sighed, waking Theseus from his elaborate daydream, “What’s with that look on your face?”   
  
“Hmm?” The king had a habit of acting without realizing, of smiling and not noticing. Asterius considered it to be another charming trait of his, though.   
  
“I am simply happy, my dear friend.”   
  
“Because we won?” Asterius asked with a snort.   
  
“Yes,” the king hummed, “and because I am with you, and you make me _very_ happy. I have just the thing in mind for your gift, as well! Just you wait- soon, all of Elysium will know that I am a master of the lyre as well as the spear!”   
  
“That sounds wonderful, my king.”   
  
Theseus laughed softly in response, his smile wide, more gorgeous than any jewel, brighter than any star.   
  
(What others within Elysium did not know was that the king sounded so incredibly sweet when his laughter was genuine. Asterius cherished being able to hear it: no other was allowed to see this tender, loving side of his king.)   
  
"I think so, too."

Theseus allowed himself to lean against Asterius, head rested against the strong muscle of his shoulder. Asterius responded by giving Theseus’ hand a gentle squeeze, and the king did the same in turn. Hopefully next time they are together in this way, it will be as more than just friends... ! _  
_


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The chapter wherein Theseus gets started on his gift for Asterius, but realizes he needs help!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I have this whole thing finished but it took me sooo long to make myself wanna focus on editing!! This one is a lil shorter than the previous chapter I believe but ah... the next few are Not if I remember right. They're longer!

Theseus started off trying to create a song on his own, but as time went on, it became _increasingly_ obvious. Truthfully, he could deny it no longer:  
  
he _really_ wasn’t much of a writer.

A number of parchments sat on his desk, torn or crumbled up once Theseus realized how poorly his attempts were going. Even now with his ink-dipped quill pressed firmly to a scrap of paper, he was doing more frustrated scribbling than actual writing. He thought with great confidence that the words would come to him naturally; he found instead that his attempts were quite disastrous. 

  
Of course, as king, he _could_ write eloquently! His grandfather, Pittheus, was an expert on matters of language, and made sure to impart all his knowledge onto Theseus, who was then a young prince. However... such a skill was usually reserved for writing formal addresses or correspondence with other royalty, not songwriting! He was suddenly filled with regret for never engaging much with the poetry his tutors had tried to make him read growing up.  
  
Maybe there was someone he could go to for advice? As much as Theseus hated the idea of asking _anyone_ other than the Gods themselves for aid (it felt very much like admitting failure, and he, a king, should never fail), he recognized an emergency when he saw one. And this was a genuine emergency!

  
Patroclus was the first to come to mind. As much as Theseus disliked him, the fallen warrior admittedly had a way with weaving words together in a poetic fashion… even if most of the time when they spoke, those poetic words were insults at the king’s expense. Insults that Theseus didn’t recognize as insults until much, much later.  
Asking Patroclus is starting to sound like a bad idea, actually.

  
Achilles, then? After pestering Zagreus for the details of it, Theseus had learned that the Codex he held had been written by the great warrior himself! Surely he would know a thing or two about lyricism? Then again, Achilles… probably wouldn’t be willing to help out, would he? Considering that he was (for some reason) a close friend to Zagreus, and Theseus and Zagreus did not have the best relationship.

Who else was there? He thought of other heroes he knew, but many of them were far too _vulgar_ to help with such a delicate operation. Others hated Theseus, or avoided him, or otherwise found him difficult to talk to. Blast, he was running out of ideas! 

_  
_Suddenly, he remembered: Once, Theseus overheard some rumors that the fiend was close friends with the famed Orpheus as well as his wife, the lovely Lady Eurydice (how come that daemon knew all these celebrities personally, while he, a king, did not?!). _There’s_ where he would find his help! He would once again track down the hellish daemon, and ask for the whereabouts of the great lyre-player. And once he located the musician, they would form music together! One worthy of the Gods, and more importantly than that… one worthy of Asterius, who was so very near and dear to him.  
(And not to mention, they might be able to form a friendship as well! Theseus liked the idea of that, too.)

* * *

“... You know, it was actually Eurydice who wrote most of his well-known songs!” the fiend stepped back, parrying a spin attack using a spear with a rather intimidating design. Somehow, the design of the blade reminded Theseus of Lord Hades, but he decided not to ask about it.  
  
“You expect me to believe that, daemon?”, the king spat back at him before pausing. “I… my apologies. That was an instinctive response. What I meant to say is that that is a _very_ interesting fact, and I am very glad to know it!” Theseus held up his shield to block a lunge from Zagreus, sending out an intense vibration that caused the grass to ripple underneath their feet.  
  
“I would be remiss to accidentally offend the lovely Lady Eurydice with my ignorance!”, Theseus nodded to himself, “So I am very glad to now be aware that she is the true genius behind Orpheus’ musical abilities!!”  
  
“Yeah, and I’m glad I told you. You tend to speak without thinking.”  
  
“How _DARE_ you, daemon! Prepare to lose this battle!!”  
  
  
Theseus tracked down the fiend as he stated he would, which led to the two of them having a friendly spar after the king rejected a gift of nectar (“I am not that trusting, hellspawn! For all I know, you could be plotting to poison me with that vial!”, he’d said. The daemon rolled his eyes in response, but didn’t push the matter any further than that. The spar, however, was Theseus’ idea).  
  
“How are you going to win if you keep getting distracted?” Zagreus dashed forward, forcing Theseus to step backwards to avoid his weapon. “You know, _normally_ I wouldn’t be willing to help you, but you seem fairly desperate. If you want to find Orpheus, he’s most likely in Asphodel with Eurydice. Is this about your gift for Asterius?”  
  
Theseus nodded proudly. “Asterius has requested that I personally write a most gorgeous, most _elaborate_ piece of music in his honor!!”

  
“I have a feeling that he didn’t ask for all that.” the fiend groaned. 

  
“And I have a feeling that YOU don’t know what you’re talking about! I highly doubt a daemon such as yourself has experienced a love that comes even close to the love I feel for Asterius!”  
  
That time, it was the daemon’s turn to pause. “I have a girlfriend.” he huffed, exhaustion in his voice. “ _And_ a boyfriend.”  
  
“You do??” The shock was enough that Theseus nearly dropped his shield. Zagreus took this opportunity to tap Theseus’ shoulder with the blunt edge of his spear: while he struck the king with barely any force, but still managed to knock him backwards and onto the grass.

"Yes, I do! You've met them! Both of them! Thanatos, death incarnate? Megaera of the Erinyes? And…" Zagreus spun his weapon with a flourish, then sunk it into the soft earth. A smirk was on his fiendish face, but his eyes were kind. "I won this round, King!"

(King Theseus wracked his brain for a moment, until it produced a memory of Death himself accompanying Zagreus on the battlefield. He couldn't always recall what Thanatos looked like (not that he didn’t try to; he always struggled to remember appearances), but the scythe he carried was one the king recognized well, as it was the same that came to sever his own mortal soul from the realm of the living. He remembered, vaguely, the daemon saying _See you at home?_ to Death in a dopey, lovey-dovey tone. _Ah,_ thought Theseus, _That explains much.)_

"Pshaw! You only won because you caught me off guard!" The king crossed his arms with a pout, refusing to further acknowledge the fiend’s words despite his whole thought process.

"You should know better than to let yourself be caught off guard in the middle of a sparring match!"

" _You_ should know better than to tell me such shocking news in the middle of a sparring match!"

"It wouldn't be so shocking if you actually paid attention to what's happening around you!" Zagreus rolled his eyes again, now visibly irritated, but leaned down with a hand outstretched to help the king back onto his feet regardless. 

Naturally, Theseus scowled, but still took his hand (“Only because it would be rude not to!” the king thinks to himself).  
"You say that like it is _easy._ A warrior such as myself is _very_ single minded, I’ll have you know." It was the truth: the king often struggled to stay focused on things, and when he _was_ focused he focused intensely to the point it seemed like nothing else existed in the world.  
  


"That's something we have in common then, former King of Athens.."

Theseus was now back on his feet, with Zagreus still holding his hand, though his grip had now loosened considerably. Theseus had no idea _why_ he seemed intent on touching him in this way _,_ but surprisingly he did not mind it. At least, not right now, not in this moment. Though he’d been bested this time, the king didn’t feel the bitter sting of defeat that usually accompanied it. 

"...Thank you for the spar, Zagreus.", the king said in the softest voice he could manage. It was the least he could do- the daemon had no reason to entertain his whims like this, but he did it anyways.

"Wow! I think that's the first time you've ever used my na-"

"Can it, fiend."  
  


The daemon only laughed at this, though. He let the king’s hand drop from his own, smiling brightly as he did so. “We should do this more often!”, he beamed.  
  
“Now you are pushing your luck! I only asked for this so I may learn more of Orpheus and Eurydice!” his voice had once again climbed to the volume he used within the arena, but it squeaked unflatteringly as well. The suggestion was simply too much!

  
Zagreus just shrugged, though. He knew trying to argue with Theseus would be a losing battle. “In that case, let me give you a little advice.”  
  
“What kind of advice could you possibly have for me?!”  
  
“The kind that’ll help you get your gift for Asterius.”  
  
Theseus shut up at that. When the king claimed he would do _anything_ for Asterius, he meant it.  
  
“Orpheus is a very gentle soul, and Eurydice…she’s very generous, but she’s in no way a push-over. Watch your step with both of them, alright? Maybe tone it down a little?”

  
“What’s THAT supposed to mean!?”

  
“Just be _kind_ , you know? And… try to keep your volume down. You’re very loud.  
  
“I’m _LOUD?!_ ”, a group of armored statues trembled at his voice, rattling in the otherwise serene quietness of Elysium.  
  
“Yes, extremely. Very much so.”, replied Zagreus with a wince.

Theseus growled. Admittedly, yes! He knew he was loud. He was a king! Kings are supposed to be loud! And… there were _also_ times where he simply struggled to find the appropriate volume for a situation. It was very hard for him to be anything BUT loud. Having the fiend point this out, though… it made his cheeks burn with shame. Were all his flaws really that obvious?  
  
“Th… thank you for the advice, daemon.”

He shook his head. Now was not the time to doubt himself! Certainly he, the greatest king of Athens, could find a way to appeal to the delicate Orpheus! He was, afterall, very charming. Charismatic, even. What's the worst that could happen?  
  
(Before Zagreus could get another word in, Theseus took off: “I’m going to utterly destroy you next we meet in the arena! Until then, farewell!”)  
  


* * *

“... Asterius! I’m going to be very busy with something today. You won’t mind being on your own for a short while, will you?” Theseus was looking up at him with those hopeful, glittering eyes, and Asterius felt so drawn to them. He was the only person allowed to see such soft expressions from his king; no one else knew how gorgeous he really was, underneath all his blustering. Being considered worthy of such beauty filled him with a sense of pride he never knew in life.

  
Theseus and the Minotaur were in their shared chambers. After Prince Zagreus had escaped to the surface a number of times, he apparently learned of something called a "worker's union" and formed one with the other House employees. They made a number of demands of Lord Hades, and this in turn led to everyone having to take mandatory days off, including the two champions. 

  
“No king, that won’t bother me.” Asterius hummed. In truth, he didn’t like being alone for long. He was used to silence in life, but in death he was almost constantly surrounded by the king’s chattering. Most others would mind this, finding the boorish king to be incredibly irritating… but Asterius only found comfort in his voice. He felt stronger when they were together.

  
“Splendid, Asterius! I promise I shan’t be long! But… if it does seem like I am taking an unusually long time, or if you simply need me for anything, I give you full permission to come and fetch me!”  
Asterius snorted at his words. The king was rarely _outwardly_ uncertain of himself, but the Minotaur knew the true meaning behind such words: _there is a very high chance I'm going to get in over my head with this, and I would like for you to come to my aid if need be._

King Theseus attracted trouble easily. He had a booming voice, a sharp tongue, and his bragging… ! It was rare others in Elysium even gave him the time of day before they decided he’s simply _too much_ , and there’d been more than one occasion where Theseus ended up getting chased by another hero he unintentionally angered. Theseus was more than capable of fending for himself, being a valiant warrior… but sometimes he would leap into Asterius’ arms, pleading for his help; the Minotaur’s bulk alone was enough to make most other Elysians back off.

It was something Asterius _should_ be irritated by: the king had a habit of (intentionally or not) dragging other people into his personal troubles, but truthfully… it was something else he liked about his king. There was never a dull moment with him. 

"...I'll be sure to come and _fetch_ you if it comes to that, my king."

"Splendid, Asterius! I'll be on my way then! See you soon?"

Asterius nodded, then swooped his head down so that Theseus could give him a kiss on the cheek. Asterius, in turn, pressed his snout against the king’s jaw, causing him to laugh softly (“Asterius!! My dear friend, your fur is tickling me!” he snorted). They stayed embracing one another for some time: eventually Asterius was holding his king to his chest, causing them both to sigh happily. It was always lovely to be able to touch one another like this; other than battle, it must be the Minotaur's favourite pastime with his king.  
Still, Theseus was ever restless. “Come now, my friend! I really must be going!”, the king fussed after some quiet minutes, squirming in Asterius' strong grip, and the Minotaur (reluctantly) loosened his arms so his dear friend could be on his way.

  
“I’ll be back soon, I promise you this my friend!” The king posed proudly before the entrance to their home, and then he was off! Blonde hair becoming naught more than a speck in the distance as he left for… somewhere.  
...Where was he going? Gods, Asterius neglected to ask- and Theseus, being rather forgetful himself, never mentioned it.

  
He shrugged. The king was strange, erratic, but not entirely unpredictable. He was certain he could find his whereabouts if need be. He only hoped that this had nothing to do with the gift Theseus had asked him about: he told him he didn’t want anything too grand. But this _was_ Theseus afterall. He could never keep things small. Asterius knew, however, that it was his way of showing devotion, so he was never angry with him for it. He appreciated their differences.  
  
Asterius at least hoped it wouldn’t be like that party wherein the king, excited to make an announcement, clamored on top of a dinner table for all attending heroes to witness him… only to promptly shove his entire foot through an unfortunate pie, humiliating himself in front of a great number of Elysium’s greatest heroes.  
(He still denies invitations to parties after that night. The king claims it was because he'd rather spend time with Asterius himself, but the Minotaur knew it was to save himself from further embarrassment.)  
  
Still. Asterius did enjoy the king’s strangeness. An eternal, unchanging paradise would be quite boring without him.  
(And since the Minotaur now had some time alone… he could work on the secret gift he’d been planning on making for Theseus. So it wasn’t all bad.)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Me anytime I write Theseus and Asterius interacting: How can I make this gayer
> 
> Anyways, thank y'all for all the kind comments on the last chapter! I Haven't responded yet (posting these honestly takes all my courage to begin with!!) but I appreciate them immensely! I think this one's a lil rougher but I hope you enjoyed! Hopefully I will get the rest of this up Soon....


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Theseus, unsurprisingly, acts a fool in front of Eurydice.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This one took me awhile because Orpheus is a lil hard for me to write!! I hope I captured his voice well enough, though. I hope you all enjoy Theseus' continued journey of acting a fool and causing problems for Himself and Others.

The heat of Asphodel was searing, but it was of no detriment to the king, who had experienced worse discomforts than this in life! The hardest part of it was locating the married couple… Zagreus had told him to listen for singing, but the only sounds he heard were the hissing of Gorgons and spittling of Bone-hydras. Naturally, they were no match for his superior strength and speed (for the most part, at least. If he smelled a bit burnt that was no one's business except his own). 

It felt like days (or nights) had passed by the time he finally did hear the strumming of lyre, as well as two gorgeous voices melting together (a song about goodbyes…?). At last! Theseus was utterly thrilled! And slightly singed. But that didn’t matter now that he’d accomplished this crucial step of his plan! A glowing success for him, really. 

He stepped towards the small home, which was comfortably adrift in lava deep in the heart of Asphodel. He thought briefly about using his spear to simply vault himself inside, but thought better of it- at least, not before he introduced himself.

“You must be Orpheus!” The king made himself known, but not before he posed properly- Boastful voice, hands on his hips, chest puffed out, chin lifted. He must take on a most regal appearance to greet someone so famous, as it is only natural! “It is an honor to meet you!” He nodded towards Eurydice. “And your lovely wife!” 

Orpheus made a high-pitched squeak, nearly dropping his lyre in shock (the lyre looked so heavy, and his arms, so scrawny! Theseus wondered how he managed to carry it with such ease) “The Former King of Athens! Ah... How did you get here?”, he asked, a deeply puzzled expression on his otherwise forlorn face.

“More importantly,  _ why _ are you here?” chimed in Eurydice, holding a soup ladle against her hip with an equally puzzled expression. Shades had no real need for food- it was eaten for pleasure rather than substance. And yet, Lady Eurydice’s kitchen was fully stocked from the looks of it! And not only that! The scent of honeyed ambrosia amidst the flames of Asphodel was absolutely mouth watering to the king. He wondered if he would be permitted to try her cooking?    
  
(He should be permitted! After all, she had the great honor of being graced by his presence! It was the least she could do in return. He would discuss it with her later- there was a more important matter at hand here, after all.)   
  
“How I managed to find my way here is not of any importance at this present moment!”, huffed the soot covered king. He really didn’t want to recount the many, many different ways he’d been bombarded by projectiles and/or exploded while searching for the pair. “What IS important is that I have chosen you, most valiant musician, to aid me on a noble quest!”

“A... quest? Surely there are others better suited than myself for such a thing, King Theseus.” The musician shifted uncomfortably, hugging his lyre tight in his arms. Such a soft spoken man! He was nothing like the prideful hot-shot that had been described to Theseus so many times in life; his cousin Heracles, who had once journeyed with him, spoke fondly of their time together. He wondered what had happened to change him?   
  
“Pah! I swear upon my good graces as a king, that there is no other in this or any other realm more capable of aiding me than you! Except perhaps your lovely wife, if she is willing?” he looked at the pair with big, pleading eyes. He was not usually one to grovel (the last time he did, Lord Hades told him it was “extremely uncomfortable” and to “never do that again”), but if it came to that he was more than willing! This was important!    
  
Still, Eurydice squinted suspiciously. She gestured at the king with her soup ladle, splattering broth clear onto his face. In any other circumstance he’d be deeply offended by such a thing, but he was simply too desperate to complain.    
“Slow down there, King! You haven’t said what it is you want yet.”   
  
Theseus nodded with a graceful bow. Yes, of course! Surely if he spoke his goal, they would understand! 

“Noble Lady Eurydice!”, he began, “I humbly request your aid as well as the aid of your husband for assistance in writing a song for my dear friend and brother-in-arms, Asterius, the Minoan Bull!”   
  
“Your brother-in-arms?”, chirped Orpheus curiously.   
  
“The minotaur?”, Eurydice pondered. “You know, I've heard some… _ interesting _ rumors about you two, but I wasn’t expecting that there might be truth to them!”   
  
“Aha!! Well then, you should know- he is my closest companion, beloved friend, dearest partner, cherished compatriot and brother-in-arms! We share a fraternal bond forged from the strongest bronze- nay, adamant! For our bond is one forged through strife and triumphant, and has been through most terrible trials, only to be victorious in the end! It is harder than any diamond, far stronger than even the iron of Hephaes-”   
  
“Whoa, whoa! I get it, no need for the speech!” Eurydice cut in. “You wanna write a song? For your…  _ friend? _ "

"Yes, my dear friend!"

"Your dear  _ platonic _ friend, or something else?! 'Cuz I’ll be honest king, it sounds like you’re kind of obsessed with the guy.”   
  
“Well…”, Theseus blushed, looking sheepish for a moment. “We aren’t together in  _ that  _ way. At least, not yet.” he returned to his proud posture, a wide grin on his face. “But! I intend for this song to be what makes him finally fall for me!”    
  
Orpheus clasps his hands together, hearing the king’s explanation.“My, that sounds quite romantic, King Theseus! I cannot speak for My Eurydice, but I would be perfectly happy to aid you in this noble quest for love.”   
  
The King beamed at that, unable to contain his sheer joy at the fact he was willing to help! But what of his wife...? 

“And you, Lady Eurydice?”, he asked.   
  
The nymph shrugged, still looking slightly baffled. “If you wanna do a big confession, why not tell him all that stuff you were telling us? You know, about your fraternal bond and all that.”   
  
Again, this suggestion! How many times was he going to have to hear it? “Words alone are simply not special enough for what I intend to achieve, My Lady! I pray you will understand. Asterius deserves only the best I have to offer! And besides that, he specifically requested that I write him a gorgeous ballad!”   
  
“Are you sure he didn’t ask for something, I dunno… smaller?”   
  
“I am absolutely certain, my lady. Undoubtedly certain!”   
  
“Eurydice, my love…” Orpheus reached to give his wife’s shoulder a gentle touch, a kind look upon his face. “What's the harm in helping? And besides that, we’ve been looking for new  _ inspiration _ , have we not?”   
  
The nymph shot a suspicious look at Theseus, then turned to whisper against her husband's ear. Orpheus, in turn, whispered back, keeping this conversation mostly private. Unbeknownst to them, however, was the king's supernaturally good hearing! He couldn't get the whole conversation, of course, but he understood some words:    
  
“Total blowhard… difficult to work with… Hades kid… ”   
  
_ I am NOT difficult to work with. Asterius enjoys working with me very much!  _ Thought the king defensively.    
  
“Zagreus… a bond… it wouldn't hurt..."   
  
_ That fiend… how on Earth did he manage to befriend Orpheus?  _ Wondered the king, quizzically.    
  
Once they had finished the conversation, the oak nymph finally turned back to him, exasperated. “Alright King. I  _ guess _ we’ll help you- .”

“Wonderful! Now-”

“Let me finish. We’ll help you  _ only _ if you promise to act nice. No fighting or calling people ‘daemon’ or whatever, got it? That means talking nice about Hades kid too, if he gets brought up.”   
  
_ Hades kid _ must refer to that monster. The idea of “talking nice” about him made something turn in the king’s gut, but he would tolerate it for Asterius.   
  
“I agree to your conditions, then!” Theseus nodded, “Thank you, both of you! Let us now begin!”

* * *

  
Songwriting was… well. Truthfully, it wasn’t going as well as Theseus hoped it would. He’d been assuming that it would be a quick and easy process, but the more he talked with the couple, the more he realized the effort that went into it. Orpheus and himself were sitting together on Eurydice’s plush bed, while Eurydice herself was continuing to cook. Theseus thought it may be uncomfortable to reside within Asphodel, considering it was teeming with beasts and drowned in lava, but it was surprisingly homey. Pleasant, even; the quaint and quiet of Eurydice's little house almost reminded him of his first home in Troezen.   
  
“Theseus...”, Orpheus began, “Is it quite alright if I call you just Theseus? May I ask if you had any ideas for this song you intended to write? Any concepts…?”    
  
“Why, of course,” Theseus beamed, “I would like for it to be, well… good. A good song!”   
  
“Ah… that is a _ bit  _ too vague.”   
  
“Is it?”   
  
The corners of Orpheus’ mouth twitched into a small smile, and his hands were clasped together gently; though he looked patient, Theseus got the feeling that he was holding back an insult. “Let me ask this, then… there are many different ways to express love, Theseus. It can be passionate, burning… sometimes it is as light and airy as a breeze, or hard and rare, like a gemstone… how would you describe the love you feel for your friend? You said it is a strong bond, but can you tell me more?”   
  
“How would I describe it…?”, Theseus repeated, wondering out loud to himself. In truth, he didn’t really have the best frame of reference for different kinds of romantic love. His mother and grandfather were unwed, and his cousin Heracles was famous for being a lecherous adulterer. Theseus himself married a number of times, sure… but he realized only after he died that it was  _ infatuation  _ he felt, not love. When this infatuation faded, these relationships fell apart with ease. But what he felt with Asterius… it was true, genuine love. Theseus wasn't the best person in life, nor the best husband, but with Asterius, he wanted to try. He wanted to become  _ better, _ to improve himself.   
  
“Ah, yes, well… I suppose the love I have for him is one that’s… growing. He often tells me that he always has new experiences with me, but I don’t think he’s yet realized that I, too, am constantly having new experiences with him! He stirs in my chest feelings of devotion I never thought myself capable of! He is… everything to me.”   
  
‘Wow, King! That was some real poetry!” Eurydice paused her cooking to comment, a small but kind smile on her face, and even Orpheus had become teary eyed from hearing the king’s monologue. It flustered him, truthfully. The king was unused to being so genuine, but Asterius… even just talking about the Minotaur loosened his tongue enough for him to be truly vulnerable!   
  
“O-of course!” The king stammered, trying to act casual, “I am a  _ very _ poetic man!”    
  
The nymph snorted, but said nothing. Her husband, on the other hand, leaned towards him, eyes sparkling with curiosity.    
“If you don’t mind, Theseus, would you tell me a story? About your friend, or the both of you. Your devotion to him is inspiring indeed, but I find that it is easier to weave together music when there is a story as well.”   
  
“Well…”, began the king. He had plenty of stories of Asterius and himself, some silly, others solemn. He decided to talk about a recent time with him, when they were exploring Elysium together.   
  
“Some days or nights ago, Asterius found a particularly lovely glade within heavenly Elysium… it was entirely forested! And so full of many, many different types of flora. He beseeched me to join him within it, and so I did.”   
  
Theseus sighed joyfully at the memory. There were a number of different flowers growing wild within that glade, completely covering the small remnants of stone and marble that indicated that it had once been more developed. Asterius made the king snort by nibbling on dandelion leaves; Theseus had long made it a habit to give Asterius the stem of the plant after he’d whispered a wish onto it and blew away white puffs.   
  
All nature growing within the clearing had a story behind it. Theseus told his dear friend of the tragedy of Hyacinthus while weaving the blue petals of his namesake into thick hair, of the uncertainty of Crocus, who’s tale overlaps with another, the heated passion of Narcissus, who’s soul burned away due to an unattainable love…    
  
_ Narcissus,  _ said the Asterius of his memory,  _ it's golden colour reminds me of you. _ _  
_ Theseus had teasingly laughed.  _ The colour is lovely, yes... but I don’t think I am nearly as vain as the flower’s namesake! _ _  
_ At that, the Minotaur reached to brush his thumb against his cheek, his deep brown eyes gazing at him with such fondness.  _ I once thought of you as vain,  _ he admitted,  _ but you value strength over appearances. I know that now.  _ _  
_ _ I value your strength most of all, my friend. _ A quiet truth, spoken as they laid down in the soft grass together.   
_ And I yours. _ His powerful arms, capable of both powerful strikes and incredible gentleness, wound against the king’s body. He rested his snout on top of blonde hair, making Theseus laugh as he snorted against him.   
They fell asleep like that, butterflies dancing overheard, the scent of flowers mixing with the natural honey-glow of Elysium.    
  
Just thinking about it again made his knees feel weak… Asterius truly was such a loving friend. Hopefully, he’ll reciprocate.    
  
“Ahem.” Eurydice cleared her throat, pulling the king away from his fantasies. “You sure are doing a lot of smiling to yourself, King. You sure that you and your friend aren’t already, you know… dating? Cuz uh… that whole thing sounded, you know.”   
  
“It sounded like you were both on a date.” Orpheus nodded to himself.   
  
“A  _ romantic _ date!”, Eurydice clarified.    
  
“It was  _ not!” _ , squeaked the king. “We aren’t together in that way! Not yet!”    
Still, the king’s face heated up at the suggestion. He never thought of their time together in that clearing as anything  _ romantic _ , but… maybe it was? Did Asterius ask him out on a date? Did Theseus somehow not  _ realize _ it was a date?! Oh Gods.   
  
“Your face is burning up, King.”   
  
“N-no it isn’t! It simply appears that way due to this  _ blasted  _ heat! Speaking of which, how do you tolerate it… ?” he began fanning himself with a hand, tongue sticking out slightly. “It is most unbearable!”   
  
“Well, you get used to it after a while!”   
  
“I see… you are much more resilient than I, Lady Eurydice.”   
  
“You don’t have to call me that, you know.” The nymph placed her hands on both hips. “Just Eurydice is fine.”   
  
The king was a fan of titles- they provided a role for one to fit within, a stage to play upon. But he had the feeling that if he protested, she would protest  _ him _ even more. He relented.   
  
“Ah… yes. I will simply call you by your name, then.”   
  
“Hah,” she smiled at that, “You know, King, you’re not as bad as I-”    
  
“Wait- Eurydice!” The king interrupted, making her smile turn into a quick scowl. “Just what  _ is _ that that you’re cooking?”   
  
“What, this? I’m making herbed and battered chrustacean, hun.”   
  
“And judging by your choice of herbs, you’re making an Athenian dish! Or the underworld equivalent of such, no?”, the king asked.   
  
“Yeah, what about it?”   
  
“You’re cooking it wrong!”   
  
Orpheus nearly stumbled off the bed, jolting in complete shock. “T-Theseus!”, he stammered, “I don’t think you should-”   
  
“No, let me finish! I  _ must _ correct this grievous mistake!”   
  
Eurydice squinted. “Just  _ what  _ grievous mistake are you referring to, King?”   
  
“Yes! Just look at the chrustracean you’re using!” He postured haughtily, looking proud of himself for stopping her in the act. “It is far too unimpressive for a dish of this stature! Not to mention that you’re missing several key ingredients! Where are the lemon slices! And the little green leafy plant that is so crucial to getting the flavor correct! Yes, I suggest you stall cooking this until you are able to procure such ingredients!”   
  
Orpheus looked at the king, horrified. But Eurydice was unwavering.   
  
“Lemons don’t grow in the underworld, King Theseus,” she nearly growled, “Neither does parsley.” (that’s the name of the little green leafy plant? Parsley?) “I am going to cook this anyways.”   
  
“You cannot!”   
  
“I  _ cannot?” _ _  
_ _  
_ You cannot! Eurydice, you must understand! As the Greatest King of Athens, I cannot allow the butchering of such an important traditional dish!”   
  
Orpheus really looked like he wanted to shrink away, now. Eurydice, on the other hand, kept her eyes completely focused on the king as she stirred her pot; her grip on the soup spoon was now hard enough to shatter it.   
  
“You know, King,” she started, “You’ve got a  _ lot _ of nerve! First you come here asking Orphy and I to help you with a  _ quest _ , despite the fact that we have  _ literally  _ never talked before, and yet we agreed to help out of the goodness of our own hearts! But you couldn’t stop at just that, could you? You decide to come into  _ MY _ kitchen, and try to lecture me on  _ MY _ cooking!” Her stirring became faster, broth nearly spilling out over the brim of the pot. “I mean no offense your highness, but I highly doubt you’ve ever stepped inside a kitchen before, let alone cooked something!”   
  


"I have set foot in  _ many _ kitchens!" squeaked the king. It was, of course, a lie. “And I have even created a tradition with my cooking! I was known as the Greatest Chef of Athens in my time!”    
  
“Ah, my love…”, Orpheus began timidly, “I think it would be best to-”   
  
“Hold on a minute, Orpheus.” The broth was now splashing onto the floor.“If you’re as experienced as you claim to be, king, why don’t we have a little contest?”   
  
“A what.”    
  
It was Theseus’ turn to nearly scramble off the bed. Oh, what has he gotten himself into now?   
  
“A contest. We’ll both make a herbed and battered chrustacean, and then Orphy gets to judge who’s is the best!” she stopped stirring at this point to make a gesture, pounding her fist into the palm of her other hand. The soup ladle was left in the pot, with enough momentum to spin another full turn before finally coming to a stop.   
  
_ Blast.  _ If he rejected this, she would know he was a liar! And, not only that, she’d know he was a  _ pathetic _ liar! But if he accepted, then he was certain to make a fool of himself. And, oh! The embarrassment of that is almost too much to bear! But he was a king, no? And a king does not back down from any challenge! Not even one as terrifying as  _ this! _   
  
“You’re… you’re on, Eurydice! Let’s see who can make the best dish!” he managed to rid his voice of any trembling (after all, he is a VERY good actor) as he held out a hand to shake hers.   
  
“Then let’s begin! You’re on, King of Athens!” she grabbed his hand with a firm shake. “May the best chef win!”    
  
( _ Me and my big mouth.  _ At the very least, it wasn’t the worst thing he’d been goaded into.)   


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I believe that Theseus is actually a very kind person as a whole but he is VERY much himself. and Himself is too much for most people! Being his close friend requires having infinite patience...
> 
> I almost made it so Theseus complained, specifically, about Eurydice using a substitute for parsley. But I think its funnier if he straight up doesn't know what parsley is.
> 
> I apologize for not always replying to comments but please know I do read and appreciate them!!

**Author's Note:**

> I have most of this written out already, I just need to finish editing! Hopefully I can finish it before my schoolwork starts getting more intense!


End file.
